Thursday, September 22, 2011

And Then I Screamed "HORSE VAGINA!"

So you know how sometimes you have a party at your apartment or house or freeway overpass or whatever and you're all like "It's BYOB, guys! Haha!" and then everyone shows up and they've all just brought Kool-Aid with cyanide in it and you're all like "WTF, friends and acquaintances?" because you're confused and kinda hurt that they only brought enough for themselves and then you find out after they're all dead that they didn't bring enough to share with you because they know about your drinking problem and they were worried that you were going to abuse the substance, which doesn't even make any sense because who does cyanide recreationally?  But then you're like "Well, maybe it's actually a great high and everyone just overestimated their limits" and so you take a tiny bit and then spend the next 12 hours on the bathroom floor screaming and delusional in a pool of your own various wastes?

Yeah, that's how today has been.